my name is Victor Traycey. I was a classmate of Jonathan's at Army and Navy Academy (Class of 2003). I was notified by Susie Smith, Director of Alumni Affairs, about Jonathan's passing. Please accept my most sincere condolences and heartfelt sorrow at this time of grievance. I know that he will be missed.
Pacific Setting Sun / Carson Church (True Friend )
Pacific setting sun keeps guiding my way
When im lost, im found and push another day
Not a day goes by in this world that we love
Influencing my self, and fait from far up above
I look in your eyes, and somehow I still see
A boy, a man, a good friend indeed
As the years go by, they start washing away
wasting our days, our youth in Half Moon Bay
A spark, a energy that cant be explained
Or a glass of red wine, permanently stained
You left your mark Johnny, in so many ways
Still inspiring others day after day
The sparks will fly, as the angles are high
J-Dub bub released your sprit, to never die...
Within all of us.
24 would have been so great and fun
but your still setting like the Pacific setting sun.
Hope you have a great day my brother, you will always be in our hearts.
-And thanks for the help Johnny! I had a huge test today, but it snowed 23 inches last night to close school, and let me enjoy the beautiful fresh pow pow up at the mountain.
.....I some how believe Johnny's mysterious ways contributed to that!
Best wishes to the Wollert Family, and all of my close friends that loved Johnny as much as I did. Kia Kaha - Nothing Left to do but Smile, Smile, Smile!
Carson Church Close
Wollert/ Paul Miller (Best Bud )
Just wanted to say to all of Johny's fans out there that he is still very much in my memory as well as other close friends from Lakeridge and we constantly are getting reminded of stories of Johnny that always bring a smile to our face's. I have the pleasure of taking care of Johnny's dog Edgar and have for 3 or so years now, he couldn't be more loved and cared for by all of Johnny's friends...I seriously have a line of people waiting to watch him whenever I need it. Edgar conveys many characteristics that Johnny had, he's sensitive, caring, and always wants to be around people....Except when you get a lacrosse ball out WHATCH OUT!!! Edgar goes 120% when he sees that thing just like Johnny did....I Love you buddy and miss you very much. Paul Miller Close
Until last month, your room had remained as you left it over three years ago. I haven’t had the heart or the motivation to disturb anything you left there. We did not need the extra space and it gave Dad and me a false sense that you were still with us. Just in case you walked through the front door, we wanted to make sure you recognized your private place of refuge and sanctuary!
I have made so many new friends since you died, mothers who lost their children in similar circumstances. We hold each other’s hearts closely, tenderly, because we know how fragile we can be. And we share stories of survival. One friend told me early on that, after she had lost her beautiful son, she frantically ran around the yard with a little plastic baggie, collecting his cigarette butts. His lips were on them when he was warm and alive and they became as precious to her as diamonds. I tucked that poignant story away, thinking someday I might understand it from my own perspective.
That day arrived, Jonny, when I finally entered your room to pack things away. Jason and his new family were on their way for Thanksgiving, and I wanted to have a guest room available. Considering all the memories the cozy corner of the house held for me, I managed fairly well. I lovingly folded your clothing, remembering every garment as it looked on you. Sometimes I held them to my nose, hoping for a wiff of your lingering scent. I carefully placed your sports memorabilia and photos in a box to be sorted through later. A master at stopping painful thoughts of your death, I redirected my grief to memories of your strength, warmth, and love-energy and filled my heart with gratitude for the time we were given to love and care for you.
This method was very effective at nudging the pain aside until I reached into your old soccer bag, the one that held your equipment since you were ten years old. You always refused my suggestions to replace it with a new bag, asserting loudly, “Mom, it brings me good luck!” Tucked inside among the old shin guards, socks, shorts, and goalie gloves were four bottles. They contained partially-consumed sports drinks and water, liquids that nourished you in your last months on earth. My defenses crumbled like sand sculptures created in a high tide. I gathered the containers into my arms and sobbed with the deepest grief I have felt in a long, long time. Your father gently and wordlessly came to my rescue and held me close. In that moment, I fully understood, like my friend Deb, that trash can become treasure when it is associated with the memories of a child stolen from our lives by a cruel and senseless death.
Dad and I spent the 4th, as we have every year since your death, with your loyal friends in Lake Oswego. It gives us such comfort to share some time with the people who join us in loving you and keeping your memory alive. Every hug we exchanged was for you. Did you feel them? I think you did. As I watched the fireworks paint the sky, I noticed one brilliant star glistening after the ashes had disintegrated and dimmed. Perhaps that was your lovelight signal, letting us know you are with us always and forever.
We saw Richard and Nancy. You would be so happy to know that they are still together! Richard graduated from OSU and is studying hard to take the tests that will certify him as a financial manager. It is very impressive how hard he is working. He even stayed home from the Shasta trip this year to hit the books! Nancy is working for her dad and sold JoAnne and Barry a beautiful hybrid Tahoe. I took her card and will try to talk Daddy into getting a new car. He will not let go of your van, though, and holds on to it because it reminds him of you. It has almost 160,000 miles on it. Richard and Paul think we should give it to Ken........What do you think?
Paul and his girlfriend Rachelle were there. He showed me photos of Edgar. He tells me that Ken is Edgar's other father. I know you would be so happy to see how much your friends love your dog. Paul tells me he still does not like being left alone.
AJ is leaving for Dubai soon to join Jason there! Imagine that! Please watch over them both and help keep them safe. They are conquering the commercial real estate world in a big way, as only AJ and Jason can do.
The game ball you were given by your teammates after the lacrosse championship win is in a case in JoAnne and Barry's rec room, fully visible. I knew it would be in good hands there.
We miss you so much, Jonny, and are trying so hard to focus on your joyous spirit and enthusiastic love of life, which is felt by so many people who love and cherish you.
We keep you in our thoughts and hearts daily and are so grateful for the time we got to spend with you. I know with unwavering certainty, Jonny, that we will see you again.
We will remember you always...... / Becky And Bob Marks (friends)Read >>
We will remember you always...... / Becky And Bob Marks (friends)
Jonny,
The first of July will never go by without us remembering you and the wonderful times we spent together with you and your family. Every keeper we ever watch, we compare to you and your abilities and no one ever comes close to you, Jonny. We will love you always..... Bob and Becky Marks
From the extraordinary HBO film series, John Adams: when Abigail Adams learns of her son's untimely death, she whispers these heartbreaking words to her husband:
"He was the delight of my eye, the darling of my heart."
Twenty-three years ago today, you received a soft, blue bear from my mother, your grandma, in honor of your birth. I took it down today from the shelf and remembered how much you loved it. I held it close to me, examined its well-worn body, and remembered the little boy who dragged it with him everywhere. The fur on his tiny nose is missing because you used to rub it with your fingers as you fell asleep. Those were sweet, innocent times.
Years later, at the beginning of your illness, you took the car and went to Canada, your birthplace, in hopes of finding solitude and peace. When Dad and I finally found you and talked you into coming back, I helped you unpack your bag when you were safely home. There were only a few items in it. Imagine my surprise when I unzipped the flap and discovered that, on the top of pile of T shirts and socks, was your little blue bear! My heart aches when I remember this moment. Who knew what meaning that precious gift had for you, so many years away from the little boy Jonny?
Did you take it as a reminder of happier times? A talisman of protection and good luck? Whatever goodness it brought to you, I hold it dear, as well. It comforts me now, and brings back sweet and loving images.
Happy Birthday, Jonny. You would be 23 years old today. We all continue to love and honor your memory.
A birthday card arrived for you today......... / Mom Read >>
A birthday card arrived for you today......... / Mom
from the alumni director at Army and Navy Academy. I opened it and read her cheery greeting and curly signature. She does not know. If I don't tell her, will I keep getting these reminders every February? Or will she give up when the donations cease? I don't want people to forget about you. I remember you every day. Every day, I take myself to the quiet place in my heart that is eternally joined to yours.
Is there a parallel place here on earth where you still laugh, tease, guard the soccer goal and fly your beloved aircraft? Was this card accidentally routed to your old address?
Wherever you are, my sweet, brave son, know that we love you always.
I was organizing Zach and Jason's Eagle Scout memorabilia today, putting together a shadow box of their hard work. As I browsed through the photos, there you were again, standing with your older brothers and their friends, smiling, hard-working. You must have been about 13. Some days are better than others, and I could not linger over those images for very long. I packed them up for Zach and Jason to care for.
1998. It was a time when you were healthy, happy, and looked forward to a lifetime of adventures and dreams fulfilled. I saw my face in those photos with you, smiling, with my arm wrapped around your shoulder. None of us knew what was in store for you, Jonny. We never would have predicted your illness, suffering and pain.
I will hold onto the memory of your similing, young face and believe that you are beaming as broadly now as you did then.
Jonny, it took me over a year to be able to post your dear friend Sam's music and lyrics. Their honesty and simplicity touch my heart every time I hear or read them.
Dear Jon
Music and Lyrics by Sam Martin 2006
I’m sorry for your tortured life. I’m sorry for your misery. My dear friend, can I say good-bye? You didn’t give me a chance this time.
Dear Jon, I hope you’ve found your peace.
I know that it became too much. I know your mind betrayed you. If I knew that it’d be our last day I wonder now what I would say.
The wrap-around porch of our hundred year-old home overlooks the soccer field of the school across the street. I sat in the sun today, drawn outside by a warm Fall breeze and the insistent TWEET! of the referees' whistles, watching the parents cheer their sons on. I squinted at the goalkeeper, admiring his strength and agility. He made a diving stop and the crowd's roars echoed across the parking lot. His teammates covered him with congratulatory pats and hugs and just for a moment, he morphed into Jonny. Only a moment.
When Jonny was a sophomore goalkeeper at Lakeridge, he was taken off the bench in a tie-breaker shootout to stop the opponent from advancing in the playoffs. This story is recounted so many times by Jonny's friends as one of the best examples of his bravery and pluck.
Please read it and think of Jonny with a smile and a belly laugh. He would want to be remembered for the happy times. He did not spend a lot of time feeling sorry for himself..........
It has been awhile since I have written something, but you are never far from my thoughts. All of us think of you everyday. Maybe I can catch up on the news.......something like I used to do with our Sunday emails when you were away at school........
Paul brought Edgar over for a visit and he has grown to be such a big, fat, happy dog! He weighs almost 70 pounds! Zach has visited him, too, at Paul's grandmother's house when the pool was open. Edgar, smiling ear to ear, takes a running jump and leaps into the water, splashing and dog-paddling to catch up with the guys: Sam, Jake, Paul. Zach tells me it is something to see! Everyone laughs and chuckles at his antics! You would be so happy to see how well Paul has cared for your puppy!
Zach is back in Portland and happy to live in Johns Landing with Winston. They are close to the river and take long walks every day. Jason has a new girlfriend and they have moved to Placer County, CA together. He is an EMT now and is working at getting into a firefighting position. You inspired him to go into this field because he remembered how kindly the paramedics and EMT responders cared for you when you became so ill.
Carson came over and brought his guitar to perform the song he wrote for you. It is very good! I was holding on to your Lakeridge lacrosse helmet, gloves, and stick for him and asked him to take good care of them for you. The gloves are worn and the helmet is banged up from too many cross-checks! I know you would want him to have it.
AJ is in LA, living in Brentwood with Jake! He is doing very well, working in commercial real estate and being a world traveler. You knew you could expect only the best from your oldest buddy........
Sam is working as an accountant at In Focus! Sam! I don't know if I would have predicted this when you both were so young and rascally. He looks very happy and is living with Paul and Edgar in a home in Lake Oswego (yes, they actually went back there!).
Richard is finishing up at OSU and is still with Nancy. Carson says he introduced them many years ago. I am wondering if you had something to do with it, too?
Dad and I talk about you often and the tears don't come so readily. You would be glad of that. We like to laugh when we remember you, too. It is healing to remember the good times, the sweet moments of watching you grow and change.
The cabin is looking great. There is new tile and a river rock hearth in the kitchen and actual carpet on the living room floor. It keeps the cold out. As I always promised you, it is not "girlie." Your surf shack is still very much "of the boys."
We love you forever, Jonny. I know you are busy doing things that my puny brain cannot imagine in the world I am in. Your universe is full of potential and possibilities we cannot comprehend. So, enjoy it with gusto, honey! I know you are. And always know that I hold you in my heart forever. You are the light that guides me through the darkness.
Love,
Mom You have influenced and inspired all of us Close
"Disease was Misplaced" / Carson (Good friend )Read >>
"Disease was Misplaced" / Carson (Good friend )
“Disease was Misplaced”
Bass and lyrics by Carson Church Guitar by Mark Henry
But it won’t be the same I’m lost out in a monsoon rain But you know that I’ll try To keep you alive. Moving north is going to be the test. N.A.U can really open our best. Every thing is going to be O.K For just one day. You never know what goes wrong Until you open up and write these songs Perfect bliss in your care free world. Getting cloudy, getting pearled But you know that we got to move on. Slap jamming, keep on singing these songs So we roll with a little riff And it goes like this:
The door opens and you see the light. You stop thinking about it day and night. The smoke will rise to the J. P – Dub. Rest in peace up above. There is nothing left to do, you got to smile, just smile. Jerry said that I’d see you in a while Or better yet only the good die young. I can’t believe you’re done. You were always so strong; you always gave your best. You taught me that back in the Lake-O nest. The green grass with the tall oak trees And the Northwest seas. We mini driving all night; just having some fun Looking back, 14, always on the run The good times I thought would never end Disease was not his friend
You got to live every damn day like it is your last. People today are living life too fast. Just relax and recognize your past. It’s time to grow new grass. It’s a game called life, said you got to roll the dice. Are you living, are you scared, up hiding with the mice? Down swimming in the sea, are you chilling with the toads? Rest in peace my homies on Sabino Road. You got to respect and always pay your dues. Karma is a bitch it’s like a just lit fuse. Jonny boy showed me nothing but love, Now he’s flying high with the turtledoves. But it won’t be the same. I know that he won’t forget my name. Close your eyes you can see his face. That disease was misplaced
Has it really been two years? / Mom
My sweet Jonny,
We know you died on the 29th of June because that is when the neighbors heard Edgar barking incessantly, for hours into the night. He was trying to rouse you........I cannot believe it has been two years already. I dreamed about you and your brothers last night. You were all little again (How I cherish those easy, sweet years!), and you were rampaging through their "grown up" world as you always did: assertively, loudly, letting them know that, although you might be the youngest, you would not be the weakest.........! In Canada, the boys and their friends nicknamed you "Petey" because they thought that fit you better. They used to build towers with Legos with their friends, guarding them against your determination to destroy them. I remember how they used to announce to each other: "Look out, guys: here comes Petey!" And sure enough, around the corner you charged, like a tiny desert dust devil, whirling and swirling and making your presence known to all!
You are in our hearts and thoughts everyday, honey. Life is not the same without your energizing spirit to see in person. We now have to look for it elsewhere: the wind off the ocean waves that cools our skin, the shimmering sunlight that streams so brightly through the summer clouds. Your love is with us and sustains us. I know you feel ours, too.
Rest in peace, Jonny. Whatever fun looks like to you now, I know you are embracing it with the same gusto and enthusiasm that drove your short life on earth............
Sending loving thoughts on Mother's Day / Jane Speidel, Mom Of Adam Waymire (POS mom )Read >>
Sending loving thoughts on Mother's Day / Jane Speidel, Mom Of Adam Waymire (POS mom ) Close
Your beautiful son / Rea Mom Of Emile De Miranda (POS)Read >>
Your beautiful son / Rea Mom Of Emile De Miranda (POS)
Michele, You really touched my heart with your sunday letter to Jonathan. I am sure he is so proud of his wonderful mom today. And we were blessed to have them for the time we did. You are in my heart and my prayers. Close
I lost you just as a persistent summer finally emerged, pushing aside the reluctant, rainy spring.
That final, unexpected, and heart-breaking scene was not in the original script, you know. It is not what I ordered up when you were born. Mothers should not have to bury their sons. But I lost you, nonetheless, and, for a time, all the dreams, joys, and promises that came in the enthusiastic and energetic package that was you.
I remember your life with special reverence today. I want you to know that it has taken on new meaning with me. Grief has finally helped me let go of the memory of your untimely death and replace it with all that is promising and hopeful and nourishing. I am moving beyond those dark places that focused only on your pain and absence. In a way, it was easier to shut down and recluse. But it is not what you would want and no way to honor your loving memory and vibrant spirit.
So, my sweet rascal, I am turning toward that eternal lovelight that forever wears your smile and emits your boundless energy. I use it to create days full of growth and promise and gratitude. I celebrate the opportunity you gave me to be a patient, compassionate, flexible mother. You helped me become a better human being and I am profoundly grateful for all the gifts you brought me in your twenty short years of life.
22 years ago / Dad
Dear Jonny: I will never forget taking you and your mom to our hospital in Saskatoon 22 years ago in 50 below weather. What a joy! I will never forget, either, the endless series of adventures you took us on in all the years after that. You were a streaking comet of the spirit inside us, and will always light my way. Love, Dad. Close
My sweet Jonny. I am remembering the most obscure things today. The swing you and AJ fashioned out of rope and wood that made a wide arc over the deep gorge of Cook's Butte. How you got lost gathering blackberries in the Oregon woods and my relief/anger when you walked out up the driveway in the dusk, your mouth purple and smiling. The fort you built from sticks and moss on the vacant lot behind the cabin. The garden you planted when you were six (you were so proud and protective!). You in the soccer goal, so cocky and fearless. You on a surfboard, catching a crystal wave and disappearing in the spray. Sitting on my lap while I read your favorite story, your head heavy against my shoulder. And I remember standing with your dad and brothers at the junction of Arch Cape creek and the ocean, watching your ashes mingle with the sand and the sea. Not so long ago. Blink. So fast and fleeting.
Tomorrow Dad and I will go to the cabin because that is where I feel your presence the most. No cake or celebrations, though. Just quiet reflection and gratitude that you will always be our son, our brother, our friend. I carry you in my heart always.
Tributes and Condolences
Add to favorites 
