Jonny's memory lives on!  / Pam Puckett (none)
Jonny is such a nice looking young man.  Know that he is beside you always.  His memory lives on!

Take care.
Pam
www.stephenleepuckett.com Close

Thinking of you  / Margy Leonard

Rich, Michelle and family, thanks so much for sharing the pictures of your Jonny enjoying life.  He had such a spark!  It is so hard to lose a child.  I know from experience that there are really no words to described the wound this kind of loss creates.  I can say, also from experience:  tend your wounds.  They will demand great love, patience and forgiveness.  Out of this sorrow will grow a deep knowledge and understanding. 
My thoughts and prayers are with you as you journey.
Love and Blessings,
Margy Leonard

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THINKING OF YOU DEAR JONATHAN! LOVE & CARE ALWAYS  / Jane Einarson (I care/Friend )
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Blessings & care  / Jane Einarson (I care )
Dear Jonathan, Thinking of you & your special family this season. I will be thinking about all of you. May you find peace & comfort. God Bless XXOO Close

From Another Grieving Mother  / Cindy Janikowski (POS)
This is such a wonderful tribute to your handsome son Jonny. Thank you for sharing the photos. The one with Jonny on the skateboard reminds me of my son Kevin. Like Jonny, Kevin also loved to skateboard, which they are probably doing together in heaven. My son also was 20 yrs old when he took his own life. I share your heartache. Jonny will always be loved and never forgotten.
Hugs,
Cindy
Kevin's Mom forever
8/22/84 - 3/4/05 Close

You affected me more than you will ever know!  / Courtney Benitez (Friend)

This must be about the tenth time I have erased and re-written this tribute, and somehow my words just don't seem to do justice to Jonny's memory.  I am going to stop thinking so much, and just write from the heart.  At first I wanted to write about every awesome memory I have had with Jonny, but I knew that if i started on that tangent, I would write pages and pages.  Indeed, I have so many great memories of Jonny, and I am greatful to have those tucked away forever in my mind.  I guess what I want to talk about is a little deeper than just memories, I want to talk about what a brave and special guy Jonny is, and how much I knew his friends and family ment to him.

I remember one of the first times I ever really met, and hung out with Jonny, is when he came to visit Jay at SSU (2001or02).  Being the *ahem* mature and "cool" girlfriend that I was, I told Jonny that he could drink a beer with me and I would not tell his parents....(sorry Michele and Rich)  Needless to say, Jonny did get chatty, but it was in these early converstaions that I feel I really got to know the real Jonny.  We talked into the wee hours of the morning, and even after he had sobered up.....(I swear he really didn't drink that much!)  We continued to talk and hang out during his visit to SSU.  Whenever I would visit Jay's Family in Oregon, or whenever Jonny came to visit @ SSU, we would always end up talking about mature, grown-up issues.....(and for a boy his age, I found this refreshing and a bit startling)  Jonny would talk about everything from relationships, to politics...we would cover just about everything.  He would often just call me on the phone to say whats up, or ask for advise and we would end up talking for an hour....thats just the way Jonny was.  I remember one specific time Jonny was coming to California and I somehow convinced him to come snowboarding with me the same day he had driven 10 hours from Oregon. Needless to say, he complied.  Tahoe being 3 hours away gives you some chatty time in the car.  I thought that Jonny would be dead tired from driving all night, and would pass out the entire car ride to the resort, but he and I had one of the most memorable and special conversations that I think I have ever had with another human being.  It is a special memory, a bond that Jonny and I got to have for that three hours in the car.  This was about 2 months before Jonny started having more severe problems.  I would love to tell you every detail of our converstaion, but some of that I keep on reserve for myself.  I would however like to talk about how passionately he loved his brothers and his family.  At one point he was almost in tears when he talked about Jay's lacrosse skills, and how happy and successful Zach was in school.  He looked up to his brothers so much, and I could feel the love he had for them when he talked. He was so happy for both of them, and you could see how proud he was to be their brother. He also talked about his parents, and how much he knew they loved him, (and I quote) "I know they love me, for all of the shi* I have put them through, they have always been there for me, and I guess that is pretty cool."

I know that Jonny loved his family so much, and that he would never have done anything to intentionally hurt them.  Jonny is such a brave and loving individual, and I miss him greatly!  His bravery has effected me in ways that many would not understand.  Jonny is one of those people you meet that you can't really forget....thats just the way he is.   I am so greatful to have gotten to know him on a deeper level. He truly did touch my life.

It's too late to talk to you, and it's too soon to say goodbye.
Listen wherever you may be, You still live inside my mind.
Something tells me that you are free again, in a place that feels like home.
It's never easy to understand
why memories hold our hand.....
I love you Jonny!

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Missing Jonny  / Lisa Frigo (friend)
The first time I met Jonny was on my first trip to Arch Cape. Zach, Nathaniel and I arrived at the cabin late Friday night. Jonny was asleep in the big bed and mumbled hello as we settled into the bunks in the other room. The next day we went to Short Sands and I walked on the beach with the dogs and watched the guys surf. Jonny was holding Winston (Zach's dog) while Zach was in the water and we laughed together thinking of the trouble we would be in if we let him go. Of course we let him go and laughed even harder as he ran as fast as he could into the waves after Zach. Later that afternoon we went to Moe's for clam chowder and then watched Indiana Jones back at the cabin. I'll never forget that day or the times we spent together with Jonny at Arch Cape. I only knew him a short time but I'll always remember him. Close

Jonny, you were the shoot out King of goalkeepers!  / Mom
The following is a five year old article, that describes the shoot out win of Lakeridge High School Boys' soccer team that brought them to the playoffs.  Jonny was only a sophomore, the back up goalie for the team.  He was brought in by the coach at the end of the game to do the shoot-out to end the tie.  Jonny made the saves that sent his team to the playoffs.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Lakeridge outlasts Tornado in a thriller The last player on the bench can make a difference. The North Medford and Lakeridge boys soccer teams waged an intense — but scoreless — battle for 100 minutes before a Pacer substitute came up with the biggest plays of all in a 1-0 sudden-death shootout victory at Varsity Field. In a compelling game in which 80 minutes of regulation play and 20 minutes of overtime play couldn’t break the tie, each team sent their top five attackers out for the penalty kick session. The only difference in the typical shootout atmosphere was in Lakeridge’s choice of defense. Instead of pinning its hopes on the senior goalkeeper who had played all 100 minutes and put the Pacers in position for the shootout — as North did with junior Dan Torrey — they opted for untested sophomore Jonathan Wollert.I don’t think I would ever make that change, but maybe their coach felt like the keeper was tired and the other one could do the job," said North coach Rich Garcia. " It didn’t seem to matter what nature of defense the teams put in the goal box in the first four rounds as Lakeridge scored on its first four attempts and North scored on its first four attempts by Dustin Wallace, Scott Jolly, Josh Grace and Babak Asgharian. Maintaining his poise, Torrey denied Lakeridge’s Dusty Hume on the Pacers’ fifth penalty kick. But with the game’s outcome hinging on Dominic Crenshaw’s shot, Wollert came up with most likely the biggest save of his young career to send the match into a sudden-death shootout. Capitalizing on his team’s second chance, Lakeridge’s Brian Hover slipped a shot past Torrey in sudden death. Aaryn Abbott next fired away for North, but his effort was blocked by a diving Wollert to send the Pacers into the quarterfinals and close out North’s season at 9-4-3. "Their keeper came up big," Garcia said. "You have to give him credit. We just kind of let one slip away from us. Something had to give but nothing gave." Despite the loss, Garcia said his team had nothing to hang its head over in dropping the decision. "I’m really proud of these guys because they battled," said the coach. "Everybody came to play today and nobody left anything on the field. We kept our composure and poise in the game, and they gave us chances to win." The Black Tornado defense especially kept the door open for a victory, with Torrey playing a stellar game in goal while getting help from defenders Ben Clark, Grace, Wallace and Justin Bilodeau. Also chipping in on the defensive side were Jolly, Crenshaw and Kedric Charlton. "Those boys back there played tremendous today," said Garcia, "and Dan was tremendous in goal as well. He did a tremendous job finishing up the season for us."

 

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I am not there  / Lance Parker (Scoutmaster)

Do not stand where I died and weep,
I am not there...I do not sleep.
I am the thousand winds that blow...
I am the diamond glints on snow...
I am sunlight on ripened grain...
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you waken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of gentle birds in circling flight...
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand where I died and cry---
I am not there...I did not die...

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That Contagious Laugh  / Tristin Brenneke (Westridge Sister )
For the beautiful smile, and that contagious laugh.  An inspirational soul.  Your strenth and integrity resonate. Close

I miss you, Jon  / Jimmy Robertson (friend)
I moved to Colorado before Jonny's condition began.  I played on soccer teams with him, and it was Jonny who got me into wrestling and lacrosse.  Unknowingly it was this that shaped me as a person and ultimately my future.  Some would say sports aren't that important, but it was to me, and I owe that to Jonny.  I wasnt with him in the last few years of his life, so my last memories of Jonny are of an extremely energetic young man who would stay in countless soccer games after putting his body on the line over and over again to keep the ball out of the net, and also the as the best wrestler on the team beating up on me to teach me moves.  Jonny was one of the strongest people I have ever known, and I know he is keeping watch over all of us and protecting us from heaven. I miss you Jon. Close

Your Smile is with us Forever  / Sam Imperati (Adult Friend )
I will never forget Jonny's smile and spirit.  The soccer trips we shared and his precious antics will always be part of my happy memories.  I loved our playful teasing,  practical jokes, and bear hugs.  The soccer ball he gave my son, Tony, is displayed  in our home will it will act as a reminder of the joy he brought us all.  May we all rest knowing the world is a better place having been blessed by his presence.  "Uncle Sam" Close

To my family  / Karen Smith-Hescher (Cousin)
My thoughts were with you on the day I heard of this tragedy in our family. I know that Jon is now in a safe place, where he is smiling, laughing, and skating the days away as he watches over the family he left behind.    Close

In Memory of Johnny  / Marcella Cruz Lucero (POS Parent )
To the Wollert Family,

My heart goes out to you in the loss of your precious "Johnny".
May you find comfort knowing that Johnny is no longer suffering.
What a hansome young man he was. I know  that all of our children are up in heaven watching over us.

Many Blessings
Marcella Cruz Lucero
POS Parent Close

Last Surf With my Brother  / J. Wollert (Brother)
The last time I surfed with my little brother Jonny was somewhere around two years ago. The waves wern't spectacular- realativley small at about three to four feet with minimal push and less than stellar shape. I was visitng from my home in Northern California and could think of no way better to spend my time than in the water and around the beach with my brother. Prior to entering the water Jonny had been talking about how he was having a hard time riding one of my shorter boards that I had left at the cabin, so considering the conditions I suggested that he try riding one of the bigger boards which would give him more float in the weak waves. Jonny eventually agreed after some convincng and we headed off to the beach to try and get some waves before sunset. We paddle out and sit in the lineup for about ten minutes until a relativly big set for the day rolls through; I wasn't able to reach it, however Jonny was in perfect position. Watching from the opposite side of the waves direction doesn't offer a very good view of the surfer, so I got a quick glimpse of Jonny paddling for the wave and preparing to snap to his feet. At this point I am behind the wave and I carefully scan the back of it to see if he made the drop and is riding. After about five or six seconds I am sure he has blown the take off and will pierce the surface of the water soon. Well, at least thats what I thought until I saw his head bobbing up and down above the small crest of the wave fifty yards away. Jonny had caught the wave and rode it all the way through the inside and returned to the lineup grinning the whole length of the paddle. What is really emotional for me about this story is that this was the last time I remember Jonny whole-heartedly grinning from ear to ear; days later Jonny was detained for three weeks at a mental health care facility in Vancouver, Washington. I am not telling this story to say that there havn't been any good times with Jonny since that day, however this is the Jonny Wollert that I remember and love. I have been thinking of this story often lately, and it is such a tragedy that mental illness eventually confined him to a life he did not want to live. Jonny was not only my brother but a friend. He was a very brave, daring, and tenacious young man, while still being a caring individual who would do anything for his friends. I am sure that there are too many stories about Jonny to be adequatly documented. This is one of them that I will cherish and remember forever. -J Wollert Close

Condolences / Jenny Smith-Back (cousin)

Rich, Michele, Jason and Zachary,
I offer my condolences to you.  May Jonny always live on in your hearts. 

"Wildflowers" is one of my favorite Tom Petty tracks.
Sincerely,
Jenny Smith (Back)

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Sweet precious Jonny  / Jane Einarson (I care )

Michelle, I am so very sorry for your pain & heartache of losing sweet Jonny. Thank you for sharing him through his memorial website. It is an honour to meet him & light a candle in his memory.
Sadly I travel this journey with you. I lost my Matthew on December 1/03.
You will be in my thoughts. Blessings & care xoxo
Jane
(Canada)

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I want to share this extraordinary dream I had in October  / Mom

A Hot Pot of Fun Things to Do

It has been over three months since Jonny died by suicide.  Three endless months since our youngest son decided that being schizophrenic was not how he wanted to live the rest of his life.  He was twenty years old and the bravest person I ever knew.

Since then, I have been waiting for some sort of communication from him, a sign that he is happy and whole again.   In fact, I expected it, because all of my loved ones have returned to me after death.   They always arrive in a dream and patiently humor me as I pepper them with kisses and questions.  But Jonny had been silent for over three months, absent from my both my life and my dreams until this morning, when he granted me a sweet and brief visit in the early dawn.

Our newly-adopted dog woke me up at her usual time of 4:39 am, not caring that it was Saturday.  I gave up trying to fend off her rude demands and arose in a fog, took her out, hastily gave her food and returned to bed.  At least I would grab a couple of hours more sleep.

So Jonny decided that this would be a good time to pay me a visit:  October 8, 2005, somewhere between 5 and 6:30 am at our home in Vancouver, Washington.

I dreamed that I was returning home alone after having dinner with friends.    As I walked into the yard, I noticed a little Norfolk terrier scampering and leaping over the grass, exuding pure dogjoy.  Not thinking it could be our sweet Terra who died two years earlier, I just assumed that Rich had adopted another as a surprise.  In spite of the fact that this little creature was impossibly cute, I walked past her and into the house, driven by a sense of urgency I did not understand.

Rich was busy in the kitchen, cooking dinner over the stove.  He looked up as I walked in and greeted me with only a silent, solemn expression.  He was not sad.  But he was searching my eyes and trying to communicate something beyond words.  As I started to tell him about my dinner conversation, my story was interrupted by the familiar clop, clop, clop of cleats-on-hardwood coming from the end of the darkened hall.  How many times had I heard that sound over the years, just before admonishing one or more boys to “Please get those soccer shoes off in the house....... NOW!”

I turned toward the sound just as Jonny appeared from the shadows, stepping into the warmth of the kitchen light.  I stopped breathing for a moment and my eyes filled with hopeful, happy tears.  Jonny is not dead!  He is with us!  What a cruel, wicked hoax!  A terrible dream, perhaps.  But there he stood and I was so grateful to see his beautiful smile. 

He is so handsome and strong!  His face is tanned and he is dressed in soccer clothes:  shiny white shorts with a black satin trim, black striped knit shirt that hugs his chest, knee socks (where are his shin guards?, I worry) and those pesky cleats!  I reach out and pull him close to me. I will never let you go again, a silent promise made to us both.  His body is warm and solid.  We both start to cry and he tells me, “Mom, I love you so much.”

I tell him how much I love him, too, how much I have missed him.  I pull away from his embrace and hold his head in my hands, searching his eyes.  “So,” I cry out, “you aren’t dead?!”  It is both a question and a command, full of hope and fear.

“No, Mom.”  Jonny corrects me in a gentle whisper, reaching for my hand.  “I died.”

My elation sinks.  So, it wasn’t a nightmare, afterall.  Our gentle, brave boy is gone.  I take the truth in once again.  I find my voice and offer a hoarse plea.

“Please, please, Jonny, tell me you are in heaven.”

He rolls his eyes, a familiar gesture I have witnessed hundreds of time from him.  I could have been asking, “Please, please, Jonny, tell me you did not get another speeding ticket!”

“Yeah, Mom, don’t worry.  I’m in heaven.”

Hungry to know more, I demand, “So, tell me what's heaven like?”

There is a long pause and Jonny seems to be struggling with his words, searching, perhaps, for an image I might be able to comprehend.    It feels like hours have passed as I wait for a reassuring reply.  What I hear from him finally is this:  “Well, it is a hot pot of fun things to do.”

Huh?
 

A hot pot of fun things to do.  Hot pot?  Hot pot?

"Don't you mean "hodge podge", honey?", I correct him, forever his mother.

But suddenly I awake.  He is gone once again.  Too short.  Too fast.  Wait, please.  I want more!  Jonny’s latest words to me are echoing in my ears.  I rush to write them down.  I don’t want to forget them.

A hot pot of fun things to do. 

He is playing soccer again for sure.  The clothes and cleats tell me this. 

A hot pot of fun things to do.         

He returned to me in the company of his beloved little dog, long deceased.

A hot pot of fun things to do.

Yep, this sounds like the Heaven that Jonny would order up.  No doubt about it. 

 

 

 

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Wildflowers by Tom Petty  / Mom

A search on Jonny's IPod after his death revealed that the last song he listened to (80 times in a row) was "Wildflowers" by Tom Petty.  Perhaps he sought courage or solice or a little of both from the lyrics that follow:

You belong among the wildflowers You belong in a boat out at sea Sail away, kill off the hours You belong somewhere you feel free Run away, find you a lover Go away somewhere bright and new I have seen no other Who compares with you You belong among the wildflowers You belong in a boat out at sea You belong with your love on your arm You belong somewhere you feel free Run away, go find a lover Run away, let your heart be your guide You deserve the deepest of cover You belong in that home by and by You belong among the wildflowers You belong somewhere close to me Far away from your trouble and worry You belong somewhere you feel free You belong somewhere you feel free

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